What girl doesn’t like to dress up? To feel pretty? To prance around in a dress with hair, make-up, and nails done? Well, I didn’t.
I’ve always been a simple girl. A “plain Jane.” Almost homely. I’ve never been one to take a long time to get ready. Rarely even brush my hair (it lays nicely without). Hardly ever wear makeup; basically only on special occasions. Never wear dresses, ever. Part lazy, never wanting to take the time. Part overly secure, feeling so comfortable in my own skin, never feeling the need to dress it up. Partly insecure, feeling I couldn’t pull of a more put-together appearance.
I have recently had a change of heart. I never envied the SoCal girls with their fake orange tans, long bleach blonde hair, miniskirts, clear plastic spike heels, and caked on make-up faces. I do, however, admire the classy woman with her well groomed appearance, elegant walk, and cute pair of shoes!
In all my years of not wearing make up, fixing my hair, or wearing dresses, I seem to have lost a feminine quality. I look at the women I admire and I realize that I don’t carry myself the same way. I lack the poise they exude. They have a radiance which I do not shine.
I’ve always made the excuse that I’m comfortable. Comfortable in jeans. Comfortable without makeup. Comfortable being me. And while that is all very true, I failed to acknowledge the possibility that I can be my comfortable self in a dress, made up, with a proud stature. I can still be myself in heels. I don’t have to lose my personality when I change my clothes.
While I know I will not live my life in the polar extreme of fashion from where I stand now, I do plan to incorporate more feminine attributes into my appearance.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Stronger than strong
Can you imagine burying your child the day before Mother's Day?
Today, just one day before Mother's Day, a family from my sister's church buried their six year old son who died last week after a battle with leg cancer.
Last Sunday, a few days after the boy's passing, their pastor preached on Heaven. I cried through the entire sermon. Today after the memorial service, my sister and I shared stories about the little boy. I cried through that too.
I didn't know the boy. I knew of him. I saw him at the church on my visits. But I didn't not have any type of relationship with him or his family. And yet, I cry.
I cry because it is sad. The situation is sad. The death is sad. These are the moments we question God's plans.
I cry, as do others. But his mom...I have not seen her cry. I know she must, but she is so strong in public. Instead of shedding her tears and asking to be comforted, she keeps a smile on her face and counts the blessings that have come out of the tragedy; the lives who were touched by his story. SHE is the one comforting others as they grieve their share of the loss. She is stronger than strong.
The lower part of the boys leg was removed in hopes of stopping the spread of cancer. And though he spent the remainder of his days in a wheelchair, I can't help but picture him in Heaven, laughing and running, made whole with both legs.
Today, just one day before Mother's Day, a family from my sister's church buried their six year old son who died last week after a battle with leg cancer.
Last Sunday, a few days after the boy's passing, their pastor preached on Heaven. I cried through the entire sermon. Today after the memorial service, my sister and I shared stories about the little boy. I cried through that too.
I didn't know the boy. I knew of him. I saw him at the church on my visits. But I didn't not have any type of relationship with him or his family. And yet, I cry.
I cry because it is sad. The situation is sad. The death is sad. These are the moments we question God's plans.
I cry, as do others. But his mom...I have not seen her cry. I know she must, but she is so strong in public. Instead of shedding her tears and asking to be comforted, she keeps a smile on her face and counts the blessings that have come out of the tragedy; the lives who were touched by his story. SHE is the one comforting others as they grieve their share of the loss. She is stronger than strong.
The lower part of the boys leg was removed in hopes of stopping the spread of cancer. And though he spent the remainder of his days in a wheelchair, I can't help but picture him in Heaven, laughing and running, made whole with both legs.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
blog blog blog
So often I find myself enjoying moments of life and saying out loud "I need to blog about this!" and yet...time goes by with no new blogs. And after this time passes, I've forgotten what was so great that I felt the need to document the moment. So very sad.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
uh! ...boys
I officially got my first message on myspace from some random guy hitting on me since I changed my status to "single." Even with a profile set to "private," there are still plenty of pests. I was really hoping those days were gone and out of my life. I'm so over it.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
breaking up is hard to do
David and I broke up.
It was the most respectful, kind, and loving breakup you could ever ask for. It was mutual and mature. Though we are both sad things didn't work out, we understand why.
After the initial decision was made and finally said out loud, we talked and cried together for a couple of hours. We said only nice things and thanked each other for what we had together. We recognize that even though we make each other happy in the now, we have different plans for the future. Plans which can not work together.
I am thankful for having him in my life for the past couple years. I am sad our romantic relationship had to end, but I am grateful for how it ended.
I have a lot of feelings of sadness to work through, but fortunately, I am not suffering with feelings of anger, pain, resentment, hate, or other such emotions which often come along with many breakups.
Also, I am glad I have such a wonderful, supportive, and loving family to help me cope with my loss. I also have a great network of friends who are offering their help as well. Thank you to all of you. I love you.
It was the most respectful, kind, and loving breakup you could ever ask for. It was mutual and mature. Though we are both sad things didn't work out, we understand why.
After the initial decision was made and finally said out loud, we talked and cried together for a couple of hours. We said only nice things and thanked each other for what we had together. We recognize that even though we make each other happy in the now, we have different plans for the future. Plans which can not work together.
I am thankful for having him in my life for the past couple years. I am sad our romantic relationship had to end, but I am grateful for how it ended.
I have a lot of feelings of sadness to work through, but fortunately, I am not suffering with feelings of anger, pain, resentment, hate, or other such emotions which often come along with many breakups.
Also, I am glad I have such a wonderful, supportive, and loving family to help me cope with my loss. I also have a great network of friends who are offering their help as well. Thank you to all of you. I love you.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
good morning to you
There is something so sweet about going to work in the morning. Being greeted by little preschoolers running up to me yelling "Miss Amy!" before wrapping their arms around me with a big strong hug creates such a great feeling.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
self esteem
typically speaking...
changing the way i look doesn't boost my self esteem.
boosting my high self esteem changes the way i look.
;)
changing the way i look doesn't boost my self esteem.
boosting my high self esteem changes the way i look.
;)
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